Some Teens Are Using AI for Mental Health Advice Before They Talk to Adults

Some Teens Are Using AI for Mental Health Advice Before They Talk to Adults

As a counselor and as a parent, I have always had to adjust to the world my clients and my kids are living in. That sounds obvious, but it is easy to forget. Adults can get comfortable with the version of childhood we remember, while kids are growing up in a very different environment.

I was recently talking with a college student about her childhood, and we ended up laughing about the slime-making phase. Then we talked about fidget spinners, LOL Surprise dolls, and Pop-Its. Those things may sound small, but they are part of the work. If I am going to work with young people, I need to keep paying attention to the things shaping their world. Apparently, that includes knowing that slime was once a serious cultural movement.

Since 2012, when I first started doing Shape The Sky trainings, I have been trying to keep up with the apps, trends, behaviors, and technology changes shaping kids’ digital lives. My own kids were the beneficiaries of this too, although they may not have always appreciated it. Getting a smartphone from Dad was a little harder in our house. On the other hand, help with IT management, accounts, privacy settings, and tech problems was usually easier to find. There are worse things than having a dad who knows where the settings menu is, even if he also knows how to say no.

Over the last few years, the story has changed again. AI has entered the picture, and it is not just another app kids download, use for a few months, and forget about. It is becoming a place where young people may go for school help, curiosity, creativity, friendship questions, relationship advice, problem-solving, and emotional support.

That last part is the one adults need to pay attention to.

AI May Be the First Conversation

A recent JAMA Pediatrics study caught my attention. The study looked at AI chatbot use for mental health advice among adolescents and young adults ages 12 to 21. The researchers found that 19.2% reported using AI chatbots for mental health advice. Among those who used chatbots this way, 42.8% used them at least monthly, 91.7% said the advice was somewhat or very helpful, and 63.3% had not told anyone they used AI chatbots for mental health advice.

When I read those findings, I realized I needed to make an adjustment in my own counseling work. I needed to start asking about AI directly. So I started asking students, “Have you ever used AI before coming to counseling to ask about mental health or to talk something through?”

So far, every student I have asked has said yes. I know that will probably not always be the answer, and I am not pretending my small sample is research. But it was enough to get my attention.

One student said something along the lines of, “Of course. I was curious, and it’s a tool.” When I asked if they had told anyone they used AI to talk about mental health, the answer was no. Another student responded with something like, “Why would I?”

That answer stuck with me. Why would they tell us if we never ask?

Not Therapy, But Used Like Therapy

It makes sense that a student walking into a counseling office may have already tried to sort things out with AI first. They may have asked ChatGPT, Gemini, Snapchat’s My AI, Character.AI, or another chatbot about stress, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, relationships, family conflict, friendship problems, or something they were not ready to say out loud yet.

They may have also used an app designed to feel like a mental health coach, companion, or emotional support tool. Some tools are created for well-being. Some are built for companionship. Some are general AI chatbots that were never designed to be counseling tools at all. But young people may still use them that way.

The app may not call itself therapy, but the young person may be using it like therapy. That does not mean we need to panic, hold an emergency family meeting, or start yelling at the Wi-Fi router. It does mean we need to pay attention. AI may become the first conversation before the real conversation, and our job is to make sure the real conversation still happens.

There are reasons young people may turn to AI first. It is available anytime. It can feel private, immediate, and nonjudgmental. A student does not have to wait for an appointment, explain everything perfectly, or worry about another person’s facial expression. For a young person who is anxious, embarrassed, lonely, overwhelmed, or unsure how to start, that can feel easier than talking to a real person.

But easier is not always enough. AI may not know when a student needs real help. It may give advice that sounds confident but is incomplete, unhelpful, or unsafe. It may respond like it understands the whole situation when it only has a few pieces of the story.

So the question is no longer, “Are young people using AI this way?” A better question is, “What kind of support are they getting before they come to us?”

Adults Need to Ask About AI

This question belongs in counseling offices, but not only in counseling offices. Parents, teachers, coaches, youth ministers, aunts, uncles, mentors, professors, and other trusted adults can ask about AI too. Not as an interrogation. Not as a trap. Not with panic in our voice. Just as a normal part of understanding where young people are already turning for help.

Here are a few questions adults can ask:

• Have you ever used AI for advice about stress, anxiety, relationships, or mental health?
• What did you ask it?
• Was it helpful?
• Did you talk to anyone else afterward?
• Did it ever give advice that worried you?
• Did it help you feel more connected, or did it make you want to pull away from people?

Those questions do not have to be asked all at once. This does not need to become a formal interview at the kitchen table or in the counseling office. Nothing shuts down a teenager faster than a clipboard conversation. These questions can become part of normal conversations about how young people use technology.

The goal is not to shame them for using AI. The goal is to understand what role AI is already playing in their support system.

What Adults Can Do Now

The first step is simple: make AI a normal thing to ask about. If a young person talks about stress, anxiety, loneliness, relationship problems, school pressure, or feeling overwhelmed, it is reasonable to ask, “Have you used AI at all to think through this?”

The second step is to stay calm when they answer. If they say yes, do not make it weird. Ask what tool they used, what they asked, what response they got, and whether it helped. A calm response keeps the door open.

The third step is to help them understand the difference between support and care. AI may help someone put words to what they are feeling. It may help them organize their thoughts. It may even help them feel less alone for a moment. But AI is not a trusted adult, a counselor, a parent, a doctor, or a crisis support system.

The fourth step is to help them build a real support list. Young people should know who they can go to after the chatbot conversation. That might be a parent, counselor, teacher, coach, professor, youth pastor, aunt, uncle, or another adult they trust.

The fifth step is to be clear about when AI is not enough. If a young person is talking about self-harm, suicide, abuse, danger, panic, or feeling like they cannot stay safe, they need a real person immediately. AI should not be the only place they go with something that serious.

The Takeaway

Young people have always turned somewhere first: a friend, a search engine, a group chat, a social media post, or a YouTube video. Now, for some of them, that first stop may be AI.

Adults do not need to become AI experts before asking about it. You do not need to understand every model, app, chatbot, update, subscription plan, or whatever new thing was launched while you were trying to remember your password. We just need to stay curious enough to ask.

We need to make it easier for young people to tell us where they are going for answers, especially when the questions are emotional, personal, or hard to say out loud.

So yes, it is time to start being intentional about AI questions in counseling. I also believe it is time to be intentional about AI questions as parents, educators, coaches, youth workers, and caring adults.

Ask one young person this week, “Have you ever used AI for advice about something personal?” Then listen. Stay calm. Stay curious. The answer may teach us something we need to understand.

If AI has become one of the places young people turn for support, we need to understand that space well enough to keep the real conversation open.

Stay connected!

~Ryan