A Big Win in the Headlines, but Is It Really?

A Big Win in the Headlines, but Is It Really?

Since my first Shape The Sky training, I have used the example of teaching kids how to drive. We know how important it is to teach them how to drive safely, and we would never simply hand them the keys, point toward the highway and say, “Good luck!”

We sit beside them and pass along the wisdom and experience we have gained from years of driving. After all, did you learn how to drive from someone who did not know how to drive? Of course not.

We teach young drivers how to make good decisions and recognize hazards on the road. We tell them to watch for bad weather, construction, changing road conditions and other drivers who may not be paying attention. We ride along with them and give them opportunities to practice so they can build confidence, judgment and muscle memory.

We do all of this because we love our kids and do not want anything bad to happen to them. At the same time, we recognize that parents and young drivers are not the only ones responsible for keeping them safe.

Car manufacturers have a responsibility to build safe vehicles. We expect cars to have working brakes, seat belts, airbags and other safety features instead of leaving every possible risk for the driver to manage.

The people who design and maintain our roads also have a responsibility. State, local and federal agencies determine where roads lead, how traffic moves, where speed limits are set and where signs, lights and guardrails are needed.

Government and law enforcement play a role as well. They create traffic laws, establish licensing requirements and hold people accountable when their behavior puts others in danger.

It takes a village, folks. When it comes to our kids driving, we understand that safety depends on the driver, the adult sitting beside them, the vehicle, the road and the rules that govern everyone using it.

So why do we treat social media so differently?

Who Is Responsible for the Digital Highway?

Who is responsible for keeping kids safe online? Is it the parents, the kids, the schools, the companies that make the devices, the social media platforms, the people designing the algorithms or the government agencies creating and enforcing regulations?

The honest answer is that all of them have a role. Just like driving, online safety cannot be placed entirely on one person or one part of the system.

Would we put a teenager in a questionable car with no safety features simply because the roads were designed well? Would we put that same teenager in the safest vehicle available and send them onto a road with no signs, lane markings, speed limits or guardrails?

Would we skip driving lessons and trust the police to make sure nothing bad happens? Of course we would not, because we understand that safety comes from multiple layers of protection.

The driver matters, but so does the person teaching the driver. The vehicle, the road, the safety features and the rules matter too.

When we move this conversation into the digital world, however, we often place nearly all the responsibility on parents. We tell parents to monitor everything, understand every app, learn every setting, anticipate every danger and somehow stay one step ahead of an industry that changes almost daily.

Even the most involved and purposeful parents can only go so far. Parents should absolutely be involved, but they cannot build the car, design the road, install the guardrails and enforce all the traffic laws by themselves.

The Headline Sounds Like a Major Victory

Meta recently agreed to pay up to $18 billion over ten years to settle claims that Facebook and Instagram were designed in ways that harmed and addicted children. The agreement, which still requires court approval, was reached with nearly all U.S. states and territories and includes significant changes to the experiences of younger users. (Reuters)

I have been on the road talking about the potential effects of social media since 2012. Of course these platforms can harm young people when adequate education, adult guidance, safety features and accountability are not in place.

Seeing a technology company held responsible for the environment it created is a win. For too long, the companies building the vehicles and designing the roads have been able to point toward parents and kids whenever something goes wrong.

At the same time, I think we need to look past the headline before declaring that the digital highway is finally safe. An $18 billion settlement sounds enormous, but the details tell a more complicated story.

First, this is a settlement, not a fine or an admission of wrongdoing. Meta agreed to make changes and pay up to $18 billion to resolve the claims against it, but the company continues to deny wrongdoing.

Meta is also not writing an $18 billion check tomorrow. Approximately $12.7 billion is guaranteed to be paid over ten years, while an additional amount depends on whether competitors such as TikTok and YouTube agree to similar protections and corresponding payments.

To you and me, $18 billion is almost impossible to imagine. I could help a lot of people, support a lot of communities and probably find a few nice houses at the beach with that kind of money.

For Meta, however, the amount has been estimated to equal approximately 33 days of revenue. That does not make it insignificant, but it does give us some perspective on whether the financial cost alone will fundamentally change the way the company operates. (New York Post)

What Will Actually Change?

The settlement includes several protections that could make Facebook and Instagram safer for teenagers. Teen accounts will have a default two-hour daily limit, along with reminders and prompts intended to interrupt extended periods of use.

A nighttime mode will block teen access between midnight and 6 a.m. by default. Notifications will also be silenced during school hours, and parents will receive stronger tools for overseeing how their teenagers use Meta’s platforms.

Meta also agreed to reduce some of the features that contribute to appearance pressure and social comparison. Cosmetic surgery and extreme makeup filters will be restricted for teens, while likes and other reaction counts will be hidden on teen posts by default.

Age verification and age-assurance measures will also be strengthened. That is especially important because children have been entering false birthdates to gain access to platforms and features that were supposedly limited to older users.

These are meaningful changes, and I do not want to dismiss them simply because they do not fix everything. Better time limits, nighttime protections, fewer appearance-altering filters, hidden reaction counts and stronger parental controls are all steps in the right direction.

The settlement also allows teenagers to choose a non-personalized feed, and parents can require that setting. However, Meta’s larger recommendation system, designed to select content based on what keeps users engaged, is not being fundamentally dismantled.

If we return to the driving analogy, Meta is adding some speed limits, improving the seat belts, installing a few more signs and restricting when teenagers can drive. Those are positive changes, but we are still traveling on essentially the same highway.

The Toothpaste Is Already Out of the Tube

There is another challenge that cannot be solved by a settlement alone. Kids already have social media accounts, including accounts they were not old enough to create in the first place.

Some young people have lied about their age, while some parents do not know which platforms their children use. Other parents know but do not enforce age requirements or meaningful boundaries around when, where and how those platforms are used.

Teenagers also move easily from one platform to another. If Instagram becomes more restrictive, many will spend more time on TikTok, YouTube, Snapchat or whatever platform becomes popular next.

Meta has acknowledged this problem by calling on its competitors to adopt similar protections. The company argues that restricting teenagers on one platform may simply push them toward another platform with fewer safeguards.

Imagine Pennsylvania placing a 45-mile-per-hour speed limit on one highway while the neighboring highway has no speed limit at all. It would not take long for many drivers to choose the road with fewer restrictions.

That is why we cannot treat this as only a Meta problem. It is an issue involving the larger technology industry, the digital environments being created and the ways those environments are shaping childhood.

The toothpaste is already out of the tube when it comes to social media being woven into young people’s relationships, education, entertainment and identities. We are not going to suddenly place it neatly back inside, but we can begin creating better expectations and stronger protections moving forward.

Parents Still Have an Important Role

Holding technology companies accountable does not mean parents get a pass. Parents and other caring adults are still the people sitting beside young people as they learn to navigate the digital highway.

We need to talk with kids about what they see online and learn which platforms they are using. We need to understand the safety settings on their devices, establish reasonable boundaries and explain why those boundaries exist.

We also need to discuss strangers, scams, sexual content, pornography, bullying, algorithms, misinformation, artificial intelligence and social comparison. These conversations cannot happen once when a child receives a phone and then disappear until something goes wrong.

Most importantly, we need to build relationships in which kids feel safe coming to us after making a mistake or encountering something disturbing. If their first thought is, “My parents will take everything away and never trust me again,” they may try to handle a dangerous situation alone.

The goal is not to sit in the passenger seat forever. The goal is to prepare young people to make good decisions when we are no longer sitting beside them.

That takes education, practice and gradual independence. It also requires adults to remain curious about the digital world instead of assuming kids will figure it out because they appear comfortable using the technology.

Being able to operate a device is not the same as understanding everything that can happen through it. A teenager may know how to use an app better than a parent while still lacking the life experience to recognize manipulation, grooming, exploitation or intentionally persuasive design.

A Win, but Not the Finish Line

I will take this settlement as a win. I will take the time limits, nighttime restrictions, stronger age assurance, better parental controls, reduced social comparison features and increased accountability for technology companies.

I just do not believe the headline represents the end of the problem. An enormous settlement does not automatically make the road safe, especially when the basic business model and recommendation systems remain largely intact.

We should not hand our kids the keys and assume Meta, TikTok, YouTube, Apple, Google, schools or government will protect them from everything. At the same time, technology companies should not be permitted to create risky digital environments and then blame kids and parents whenever someone gets hurt.

We do not have to choose between teaching the driver and improving the road. We can teach young people, support parents, build safer devices, demand more responsible platforms and create rules that apply across the technology industry.

There is a great deal we can still do. We can teach, set boundaries, stay connected, ask questions, demand safer technology and hold companies accountable for the products they place in young people’s hands.

We can also stop expecting a 13-year-old to have the experience and judgment of a 40-year-old simply because the technology fits inside their pocket. Kids need opportunities to learn, practice, make mistakes and seek help without carrying the entire burden of online safety themselves.

We built the vehicles and designed the roads they are traveling on. Now we have a shared responsibility to make that journey safer while preparing them for the independence that will eventually come.

Our kids are more than users, accounts, engagement numbers, likes and data points. They are human beings growing up in a complicated digital world that we helped create, and they deserve our guidance, protection and attention.

They are More Than a Profile.

~Ryan